The Cabbage Patch Catie (1)
A New Home.

Once upon a time, a custom Caitie was born at the Denver MT factory. She was very pretty, with 02 skin, blue A-40 eyes, and a long blonde wig in color "E" with pie bangs. The heads on the assembly line all chatted with each other about their future; of course, everyone hoped to get a posable body and the red Christmas dress with the velvet roses as a going home outfit.

But unfortunately for Caitie, she was given a non-posable body and dressed in the floral romper. However, she still maintained her cheerful attitude. "You are very beautiful," said the Hispanic lady who was dressing Caitie to go home. "If you were mine I would name you Solana, because that means sunshine." She tied Caitie’s NP sneakers and gave her a hug as she put her into the shipping box. "Maybe someday you can come back and get a posable body."
Caitie decided she would do just that someday. Meanwhile, she was sent to the midwest where she met her new owner, a young girl named Henrietta Harris. Henrietta was 7 years old and very careless with her toys. She received Caitie for Christmas the same day as her 8 year old brother, Henry (their parents were not all that good with names) received a bow and arrow set. The arrows had suction cup tips and later that afternoon Caitie was put in a chair and the two siblings spent some time shooting arrows at her.

This was to be a reflection of the life Caitie would lead at the Harris residence. She was given the name of Pickles, as Henrietta was just as name-challenged as her parents. She would be taken outdoors and used as a captive when Henry and Henrietta played cowboys and Indians. One time when she had to portray a train robber she was hung from a tree and had to stay out all night because Henrietta forgot she was there till the next evening, and all the birds laughed at poor Caitie. More than once she was left in the yard and got rained on. Henrietta decided that Caitie would look better with short hair, and trimmed her wig so that clumps of blonde hair stood straight out.

Even when Henrietta would bring Caitie indoors, she generally just threw her on the floor of her bedroom. One dreadful day after Henrietta had a tea party with her dolls and spilled chocolate milk on Caitie and two Barbies, the family dog came and chewed on Caitie’s body (she had lost her original outfit on the day she had arrived and was still carelessly dressed in the old, very ill-fitting dress that had belonged to a Cabbage Patch doll who had earlier gone to the great beyond). When Henrietta saw the stuffing leaking out of Caitie she threw her into the back of the closet and closed the door.

Poor Caitie was very miserable and cried quite a bit. The closet was dark and she was still all sticky from the chocolate milk. She could no longer remember the happy days at the factory with her other Twinn friends, or her proud heritage as a Caitie. As she was sniffling she noticed she had been thrown onto a newspaper. Because she was non-posable she could not move to read more than the article directly under her nose, but she was stunned to see it was an article about the recovered Star of Tamsen and Princesses Tammara and Tammolyn who were Caities like she was. Caitie wished she could be a princess, too. She admired their beautiful dresses and their tiaras, and how they stood so straight. "I’ll bet no one ever cuts their wigs," Caitie said to herself, and began to sob again. Finally, exhausted with crying, she fell into a deep sleep.
Time passed and Henrietta got new dolls and forgot about Caitie. Eventually she became a teenager and her parents decided to do over her room to suit her new age status. A workman who had been brought in to remodel discovered Caitie in the closet. He took her to show to Henrietta’s mother to ask what should be done with Caitie.
"Oh, that is Pickles," commented Mrs. Harris. "Henrietta is too old for dolls now. Just throw her in this box of things going to the thrift shop."
"Could I have her?" asked the workman, "My grandmother is getting a bit senile and we were wanting a doll to keep her company at the nursing home."
"Oh, certainly," said Mrs. Harris, dismissing Caitie with a nod. "I’m glad she will be of good use to someone."
So the workman took Caitie home to his wife, who washed her and sewed her a new body of pique fabric. Unfortunately she did not realize that Caitie needed a neck connector so she did not include that in Caitie’s new body. That meant that Caitie could no longer hold her head up. Caitie was given a cut-down Eva Gabor wig in an obnoxious shade of auburn. Her Cabbage Patch dress was mended and given back to her and she was taken to the Happy Hours Rest Home to live with Grandma.
Caitie now sat in a little rocking chair on Grandma’s chest of drawers. Grandma was glad to have her and called her Baby, which was a step up from Pickles, but not very high. Granny told everyone that her Baby Doll was a Cabbage Patch Doll and pretty soon Caitie herself started believing that was what she was. Even though the occasional visitor would admire her, no one noticed she needed shoes or underwear.
Time passed and one day Grandma was picking imaginary flowers in the hallway near the dining room and was side-swiped by another resident in a wheelchair, Poor Grandma fell and broke her hip. She had surgery to repair it, but while she was recuperating, the decision had been made to transfer Grandma to a Skilled Nursing facility. Caitie was not allowed to go there so another decision was made to sell her on eBay because the Happy Hours Home was always looking for new sources of income. Fortunately for Caitie the person who did the auction read the label on her neck and listed her as a Twinn rather than a Cabbage Patch Kid.

Meanwhile, in the offices of C&D Detective Agency, it was a quiet day and Skye was looking at the My Twinn Friends. Dawn was nearby, reading a comic book. A nice dish of chocolates had been set on the table by the computer, and Carruthers was standing guard (but politely refused to look when anyone took a chocolate). "Look at this, Dawn," Skye commented. "They named a Caitie Finn."

Dawn looked up from her comic. "What a stupid name. Don't they know that Caities hate to be named after fish body parts?"
"Not only that, there are two Lenoras and a Madison named Ester. I hope my sister Leah doesn’t see them because she really gets upset when they spell Esther without the H."
"Maybe they have sisters named Poly," joked Dawn. "Is there anyone named Dawn, Skye?"
"Yes, there are two Dawns and two Skyes."
Dawn gazed at the computer. "Hmm, one of the Dawns is a Sharon. I would like to meet a Sharon someday."
"Wait a minute," said Skye, switching to eBay. "I am sensing that there is something lost in connection with a Caitie." She pressed some keys and discovered Pickles/Baby, the NP Caitie, up for auction. "Look at this poor girl, Dawn. She has lost her neck connector."
"And Caities hate being floppy necked too! Look, she even has lost her original body covering, and her Twinn outfit." said Dawn. "Oh, Skye, I wish we could rescue her. I just spent the last money from my paycheck on a Little Lulu comic and these chocolates."
"And I spent mine on new shoes," Skye said with a sigh. "I don’t suppose Caitlyn would give us an advance."
"I don’t think she can because she bought those new T-shirts for all of us," Dawn replied, "the ones that Elinor brought over with her. Wait, I've got an idea. Let me send a message to my friend Princess Tammara in the Sultanate of Tamsen. I’m sure she would be willing to help another Caitie in distress."
Dawn’s fingers flew over the computer keyboard. Soon a message returned from Princess Tammara saying that she would indeed purchase the Caitie and have her sent directly to the Twinn Continuum for immediate surgery.
"Thank goodness," said Dawn. "I am going to send an e-mail to Meko to tell her to expect the Caitie soon. And I will recommend that they don't name her Finn!"


© DR Walker, JE Sturgis 2006.